The dominant form of human communication is verbal. Humans use strings of words, complex constructs, and put their thoughts into words. This is what really sets humans apart from other species - their verbal skills. But, there is another component present in human communication, one that many people fail to properly utilize and this is their body language.
What Does Body Language Constitute?
Your posture, your eyes, your gestures, and facial expressions combine with words to really convey what's going on in your mind. This is an unconscious form of communication - one that's entirely non-verbal and natural.
Why Should You Care About Your Body Language?
Communication is not just about words. Even when you carry on a casual conversation with your friend, you'll get cues from your friend's body - through the eyes; the tonal inflections in his speech and his postures. All these convey a variety of meanings:
- Does he mean what he's saying?
- Is he really listening to you?
- Is he bored and waiting to get away at the slightest intrusion?
- More importantly, is he lying?
The Power of Body Language
If body language can have an impact on just a casual conversation, think about how it can affect business deals, political talks, and negotiations.
Animals communicate mainly through body language. Humans, because of their developed verbal skills, have moved away a bit from this form of communication. Our interpretation of body language is also mostly unconscious or subconscious. That is why you naturally notice a person's reactions when you convey confidential information to them, in order to judge whether the person can be trusted. Intuition is mostly what your brain will register without consciously making it apparent.
In Professional or Public Life
Politicians and other public figures have to be good at controlling and interpreting body language. Otherwise, they would lose their credibility. If a sales person makes a good verbal sales pitch, yet conveys insincerity through his body language, he most certainly will not close the sales. If during a business negotiation, one party just concentrates on words, and fails to properly understand and respond to non-verbal cues, the business deal will mostly fall through.
In Personal Relationships
Body language is a very important aspect in maintaining personal relationships. In fact, body language probably has a more vital role in close relationships where individuals know each other very well. They're prone to pick up on even the slightest discrepancies between what they share verbally and what their body signals convey.
Your parents, spouse, close relations, and friends are sure to pick up on your non-verbal signs. They'll know when you are sincere, when you are lying, when you are anxious or angry or worried. They will be attuned to your expressions, inflections, gestures, body postures.
When Communicating With Children
Children are normally very quick to pick up on non verbal signals too. That is why, it is important to pay attention to them when they are talking to you. When you talk to children, make sure that you avoid the following in order to keep them engaged.
- Frequently looking away during the conversation.
- Responding to a child's enthusiasm in a half-hearted way.
- Talking in an urgent and high pitched manner (which conveys impatience).
Understanding Body Language: An Important Skill
Body language has stayed with us through evolution. We still use it predominantly, only without knowing it. We have just lost the ability to consciously interpret, and control, body language. But it can be learned. There are many obvious signals that you can pick out during a conversation.
- If a person keeps fidgeting during a conversation and playing with his ears, nose, hair, it signifies deceit.
- If a person talks with his palms facing downwards, it signifies control and authority.
- If a person talks with his palms facing outwards and upwards, it signifies a submissive and passive nature.
- If a person talks with his hands crossed or hands behind his back, it signifies dominance and authority.
These are the obvious signs that you can watch out for. Understanding such signals can take you a long way as a good conversationalist and help you read people and their intentions.
