Our confidence levels tend to fluctuate under specific circumstances from time to time. Sometimes we show great optimism and become eager to carry out new projects while at other times we sink into pessimism and feel that there is so much of failure and hopelessness in whatever we do. But pessimism seems to be a permanent condition in some people. They suffer from lack of confidence and self esteem. People with low self-esteem remain unsatisfied with their lives and achievements for most of the times.
We are all in a social setup and want recognition and appreciation from others. Some people fail to hold a positive opinion about themselves. They have low self-esteem and this can be accompanied with conditions of depression and anxiety.
Symptoms of Low Self Esteem
- A person criticizes himself to extreme points.
- He often ignores his positive qualities.
- He thinks that he is much inferior to his colleagues.
- He makes use of negative words like "stupid" and "idiot" to describe himself.
- He might engage himself in "self-talk" and tell negative words about himself.
- He always thinks that luck has played a role in his achievements. He does not like to take any credit.
- He always blames himself if something goes wrong. He might not have control on factors like economic forces or the actions of other people.
- He would not have faith on a person who would appreciate him.
Causes of Low Self Esteem
- Individuals who have faced extreme criticism in his childhood from his parents or teachers are more likely to suffer from low self-esteem.
- Low self esteem might result in an individual who have had a poor academic performance in school.
- Financial troubles and strained relationships can also result in low self esteem.
- If an individual faces ill-treatments from his partner or parents, then he might start feeling very low.
- Chronic illness and physical disabilities for a long term can cause low self esteem in an individual.
Problems Faced by Individuals with Low Self Esteem
- Avoidance of Challenges: An individual with low self esteem fears to take up challenging tasks.
- Self-Harming Acts: An individual who thinks himself hopeless might want to harm himself through certain improper actions like drug abuse, unhealthy eating or through suicidal attempts.
- Troubled Relationships: A person with low self esteem thinks that he needs to earn love and friendship in order to maintain a relationship. This way, he tend to tolerate all sorts of unreasonable behaviors from others. In other cases, he might start bullying other people.
- Low Level of Self Care: Individuals, who think themselves "hopeless", do not bother to take proper care of themselves. Drinking too much alcohol portrays such a behavior.
- Fear of Judgment: These people avoid taking part in social events due to the fear of getting negatively judged by others. They tend to feel self-conscious and get stressed.
- Development of Negative Feelings: Pessimism rules the mind of people who suffer from low self esteem. They tend to develop negative feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety, shame, depression and guilt.
Tips to Boost Your Self Esteem
- Engage in Positive Self-Talks: Positive self-supportive statements can help counter the negative thoughts. For example, tell yourself what you have accomplished recently that you are proud of, list all of your good qualities, or list things that you are looking forward to in the next week. Write some of the self-supportive statements on a note card and read off these statements whenever you are feeling upset. You can also make it a point to start your day by reading positive self-supportive statements as it can help prevent the occurrence of negative mood.
- Challenge the Negative Self-Talks: Self-monitoring can be an excellent way of increasing your awareness of your thoughts and how they impact your mood and behaviors. If you tend to criticize yourself, then you should look for proper reasons for such criticism. You can also ask your friend to evaluate the degree of your fault. Challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself questions like: "What evidence do I have for this thought?", "What would I tell someone else who was having this kind of thought?", "What may be an alternative explanation?" etc. You would soon discover that most of your negative self-talks are baseless!
- Avoid Comparison with Others: People with low self esteem often feel very low when they compare their abilities with that of others. You need to understand that every human being is different from the other and everyone is perfect in his position. Experiment with different activities that will help you get in touch with your talents, and then take pride in new skills you develop.
- Accept the Achievements: You should accept your achievements and your positive qualities. you should give proper value to your skills and efforts which can lead to achievements.
- Forget the Bad Incidents of the Past: Bad, old memories hurt too much and so it is better to forget these experiences and move on.
- Express Opinions Clearly: You need to communicate your ideas, feelings, opinions and beliefs clearly and honestly to others. Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them.
- Avoid Worrying: Persons with low self esteem often worries a lot about the future. You should accept the fact that you cannot see or change the future. Hence, you should enjoy the present time without thinking too much about the future concerns.
The cure lies in self-development. You can get help from your friends and loved ones to recover from a state of low self esteem. You should take part in social events and try to relate yourself socially! Not everyone around you is waiting to throw criticism at you!
