A family which "breeds" the feelings of love, compassion, care and respect among its members also positions the parents as the top most authority. Parents are just like the "Almighty" who can never commit any wrong act. Yes, we have never seen God, but we seen his "earthy" forms in our parents. Their patience, sacrifice, love, care and contributions make them comparable to God!
On the other side, everyone makes mistakes and learns through his experiences and this holds true for parents as well. First timers are expected to do mistakes and they have the "right' to do so! Otherwise, how can they learn to be better parents in the future? If you fall in this category, then you should note that your toddler child can give you the toughest time. His newly acquired mobility can challenge your patience. You are susceptible to make a lot of mistakes at this time. Let's have a look at these mistakes:
Mistake #1: You May Lack Consistency
When your little child asks for an ice-cream just before you are going down to the supermarket, you may say something like, "sure honey, if you can behave, you can have an ice cream". That's okay and it actually teaches your little child something about rewards and consequences. However, if you don't keep your promise, then it will send two different messages to your child - he cannot trust you anymore or he has to scream and keep on asking you to make you fulfill your promise! It is hard to be consistent, but it's worth giving a try. Be consistent and honest in whatever you do for your child and on what you say to him. Your child is actually learning from you.
Mistake #2: You May Lack Positive Affirmations
Have you ever given a thought on how frequently you tell your children that how much you love them? Have you let them know that you are proud of them and their achievements? Have you ever patted on their back and said 'Well done my boy!' or any such positive statement that can boost your child's confidence and self esteem. We often take others for granted and presume that they already know how much loved they are. Positive waves can make a huge difference by giving your child a sense of security, support, love and care from your side. This is a way of positive reinforcement. A feeling of being unloved may make your child misbehave with you.
Mistake #3: Sometimes You May Offer Too Much of Help
Parents don't want their child to face failure in anything they do whether their child is a toddler or a teenager. The feelings are quite natural, but you should want your child to be as independent as possible. When your child is in trouble while solving a puzzle or opening a particular box to see his toy, then let him do it on his own! Parents who offer too much help may be damaging their young children's ability to become self-sufficient. Give your toddler choices, but not too many! If it is dinner that he is deciding on, then two choices are good. If it is more than that, they may get overwhelmed.
Mistake #4: You May Not be Able to Spend Enough Time With Your Family
This is the most common and repeatedly done mistake by a lot of parents. In case of working parents, the baby needs to remain in the company of his caretaker, nanny or other family members. The child needs his parents the most. Parents can utilize the evening time to build rapport and strong bond with their child.
Mistake #5: You Do Not Monitor Your Child's Food Habits
Proper health and nutrition starts in the home. Keep a check on your toddler's food habits and give him nutritious foods like fresh fruits (apples, bananas, papayas and strawberries), fresh vegetables, milk, yogurt, cheese and cereals. Give starchy foods like bread, rice and pasta, meat, fish, eggs, nuts and lentils. Many parents tend to worry about a pure vegetarian diet which may lack the nutritional value found in animal proteins. However, there are other protein-rich foods like legumes or beans like kidney beans (rajma), chickpea (chana), black eyes bean (lobia), black chickpea (kala chana) and lentils like black gram (urad dal), split red gram (tur dal), green gram (moong dal) and bengal gram (chana dal). Nuts and seeds like almonds, walnuts, sesame, garden cress and flax seeds are also beneficial for your child's development.
Mistake #6: You May Start Potty Training Too Soon
Children will automatically learn and will give you signs (such as staying dry for longer time, waking up dry from sleep and knowing to pull his pants down when he wants to pee or to do potty) to indicate their readiness to get potty trained. Some parents just rush into it and then when they see that the child is not getting trained, they get frustrated. A child may become ready to be toilet trained from as young as 18 months to as old as 3 years. Every child is different. So wait for your child till he gets ready for it.
Mistake #7: You Often Fight Back With Your Child
All toddlers have tantrums. It is pointless to talk to them about it. Fighting or arguing with your kid offers him negative attention and a lot of power over you as he thinks that he is able to trigger such strong reactions. Instead of stopping that, use some techniques to distract him and to teach them discipline. Give him timeouts and sometimes just don't pay attention. If your child is confused and throwing tantrums then offer him choices like, "Do you want a red ball or a blue ball?" Change the environment all together; take him out in the garden or a backyard!
Mistake #8: You Tend to Allow Too Much of Time for Television
Studies suggest that kids under the age of 2 can't really take in what's being displayed on TV and computer screens. Early childhood is a crucial phase for brain development and behavior formation. High levels of TV viewing during this period can give rise to unhealthy habits in the future. What parents also do not understand is that they are forming a habit to their toddlers such that they become conditioned to it. For example, the child has to watch television while having food. The problem arises when parents take them out on a vacation where there is no television! In such cases, children tend to go dramatic. Another negative point is that there is no importance of having family meal times together. Cut down your toddler's TV viewing habits. Let him watch only limited cartoons and form an association between him and the TV at a specific time of the day.
Mistake #9: You Do Not Try Out Anything to Make a Change
Parents may recognize their mistakes. But not taking a step to bring in any change in the situation or in their toddler is another big mistake they often do. Make observations in your child's behavior and the way you handle him. Notice his reactions. Spanking or hitting your child as a disciplinary measure will not work and will only isolate your child from you. You need to look for peaceful ways for managing your child's behavior.
Mistakes are expected in every field and parents cannot escape from its clutches as well. But you will learn once you commit mistakes. There's always a second chance. And man learns by experiences. Parents become the idols and they set an example after evolving through years of this experience.
