Men are driven by their hormones much more than women, in their relationships. As many men pick up pointers on their interaction with women from erotic movies, it is not surprising that their expectations are not based in reality at all.
Two eminent authors and sex-educators, Tristan Taormino and Lou Paget, feel that the most common sex mistakes most men commit are:
Mistake 1: I Know What She Likes
Many men who have gained a little bit of experience think that they know how to satisfy all women and swagger around as if they are God’s gift to women. But every woman has a different type of personality and after all, sex is mostly decided by the brain; so take the time and trouble to find out what her personal preferences are, do not assume you know what they would be.
Mistake 2: All She Needs or Should Need is Me
Many men think that if a woman needs other sex supplements to achieve an orgasm, then she must be frigid or something must be lacking in her. It is perfectly common for many women to need extra stimulation to achieve orgasm and you should try and help her to achieve that rather than think that something is wrong with her and run her down.
Mistake 3: Sex is Same for Men and Women
Many men think that as they have enjoyed themselves thoroughly, the woman must have too. From the man’s point of view, penetration and orgasm are the ultimate highs. But in the case of women, if the penetration is too deep, if the angle of entry is not comfortable, if the thrusts are too forceful, there can be lot of discomfort.
For her to forget or ignore all that discomfort and enjoy sex enough to achieve orgasm, she has to be aroused enough during foreplay and almost all men forget that. This is one of the fundamental mistakes that men commit when it comes to women and sex.
Mistake 4: I Know the Anatomy of a Woman
A man with experience who has all women swooning for him is another myth created by the media; characters like the ‘Fonzie’ on Happy Days and other Lothario like characters have helped to create this urban legend.
Even though some thirty years back the book ‘The Joy of Sex’ helped men realize the importance of the clitoris during sex, many still assume that their partners should be having an orgasm by penetration alone. Try talking to your partner about what she likes and what gives her most pleasure. Do not presume you know that.
Mistake 5: If She is Wet, She is Turned On
That is so not true. Yes, when a woman is turned on, her vagina is lubricated for easy penetration; but this lubrication depends on her menstrual cycle and her hormone levels and other medications or stress factors. So if she is not as wet as you expect, do not assume that she wasn’t turned on.
Mistake 6: Be a Macho. Never Talk About Your Likes and Dislikes
Many men are taught to be macho and not talk openly about their feelings as boys; they are supposed to just bury their feelings and ‘man up’. This carries on into adulthood and they think a man does not discuss his feelings if he wants to be macho. Discuss what you like and dislike in the bedroom frankly with each other for a better sex life.
Mistake 7: I can do it Without a Foreplay
For a man the ultimate pleasure is in penetration. But for a woman, pleasure begins when he starts to woo her, sends her little romantic gifts and builds up to orgasm. So take the time to arouse her with sufficient foreplay; if your reach for her genitalia immediately, she is going to be put off and turn away from you.
Mistake 8: Breasts and Vagina are the Only Erogenous Zones
Many men tend to forget or ignore the other parts of a woman’s body apart from the breasts and vagina. There are plenty of other erogenous zones that can be stimulated, to enhance her sexual experience.
Be sure to take the time to know your partner’s likes and dislikes to have a mutually satisfying sex life. Avoiding the mistakes can make you irresistible in bed, and she’ll reward you well for it.
